What You Think You Know About Football is Wrong by Kevin Moore

Author:Kevin Moore
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing

28

The Germans do not always win on penalties

It’s become one of the great quotes of football. According to England football legend Gary Lineker, ‘Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win on penalties.’ When Germany scored a late winning goal to stay in the 2018 FIFA World Cup, after they had had a player sent off, Lineker had a new version: ‘Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase the ball for 82 minutes and the Germans get a player sent off, so 21 men chase the ball for 13 minutes and at the end the Germans somehow fucking win.’

But it’s not true. The Germans might have beaten England in two key penalty shoot-outs – the World Cup semi-final in 1990 in which Lineker played (and scored his penalty) and the European Championship semi-final at Wembley in 1996 – but the Germans do not always win on penalties.

For a start, the Germans only win 50 per cent of penalty shoot-outs – in their domestic football! The Germans have no better a record than anyone else at club level in European competitions. And the last time there was an England versus Germany penalty shoot-out of some kind, in the 2012 Champions League final, Chelsea beat Bayern Munich.

It’s in international football that there is the perception that the Germans always win on penalties. In fact, the Germans only have a 60 per cent win percentage – six wins, four defeats. Fifteen teams have better records. England have won two and lost seven. This makes England one of the worst performers in international football. In the UEFA European Championship, the Germans have won two but lost one. The Czech Republic, Spain and Turkey have better records. England have won one and lost three.

It’s at the World Cup where Germany has the best record. But of course, this is a very small sample size – they have been in four and won all four. England have won one and lost three. There are very fine margins at this level. But nine other teams also have a 100 per cent record, from winning the one or two shoot-outs they have been in in World Cups. The Germans don’t think of themselves as invincible, especially after the farce of the European Championship penalty shoot-out against Italy in 2016. Germany eventually won 6-5 on penalties, despite missing three of their first five spot kicks – by Müller, Özil and Schweinsteiger! Both teams were extraordinarily inept.

So while England think this of Germany, the Germans don’t think this of themselves, and it isn’t true. So why do we think it? The defeats by Germany in 1990 and 1996 were particularly hard to take, as on both occasions, in open play, England had been the better team. The Germans have won the key ones, those in the World Cup, and lost others. But England have lost the key ones, only having won against Spain in the quarter-final of UEFA Euro ’96 and Colombia in the World Cup last 16 game in 2018.

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